States of Limbo
by ricecooker2000
Summary: When she realizes Kaname is not the only one she thirsts for, Yuuki takes matters into her own hands. Rating will go up in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Do not own Vampire Knight or its characters. Spoilers to a certain point... not sure where, but read at own risk!

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_**In Blood**_

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Another night, another dead vampire.

The vampire hunter known as Zero Kiryuu tucks away his gun, Bloody Rose, back inside his black trench coat. With long, fast strides, he walks out of the darkened alley and begins his solitary trek back to his apartment.

His tongue singes with the acrid taste of the dissolving corpse. But it is nothing compared to the thirst burning in the back of his throat. A dull, persevering ache. He clenches his jaw tightly, willing his self control to overpower the vampire instincts. The monstrous, beast-like instincts.

Dropping his belongings with a heavy thump, he makes his way to his unmade bed and collapses into the soft mattress. His eyes are throbbing with the lack of sleep for the past three days. But he cannot sleep. The unbearable itch in his throat prevents him from achieving any peace. He can down some blood tablets, but he does not want to.

Not when the memory of _her _taste, and _her _smell is constantly torturing his senses.

Zero turns onto his back and glares up at the ceiling. He recalls the way she felt the last time he held her.

_Ridou is finished, and Kaname left them alone to say their goodbyes. She had just wrenched the transformed Bloody Rose from his arm, and prepared to leave when he instinctively latched onto her delicate wrist. _

_They are now enemies, but he didn't care at that moment. _

_She told him all she wanted was Kaname. All she could think was Kaname. _

_**Kaname. **_

_And he abruptly told her that all he wanted was her blood. Her sweet, precious blood. _

_All he could think of was her pulse, racing rapidly through the delicate veins at her neck. It was only a matter of seconds before his fangs found their target. _

_Now that she has awakened as a vampire, her blood tasted different. It was thicker, more potent than before. But it still held her essence. Pure, trusting Yuuki who is so kind-hearted to everyone that it hurts. _

_He didn't take much, because he knew she needed her energy. But as he gazed down at her face, so breath-taxingly beautiful even in vampire pallor, he could not help but steal a kiss. She has always been there for him. Given herself to him so many times, and he is nothing but a slave to her every whim. _

She is the reason why he lives on now, dredging through a sad excuse of an existence. Yet, she is the reason why he suffers. Why he cannot lay himself to eternal rest. It is because she simply exists.

Exhaustion finally catches up to him, and he must have dozed off because suddenly he finds himself snapping awake. It is not a sound that awoken him. No, it is a scent.

Bloody Rose is out in a heart beat. Zero shoots up from the bed and points the gun at the shadow perched on his balcony.

His silver eyes widen in disbelief, and then narrow in suspicion as her form materializes.

"What are you doing here?" The silver-haired hunter hisses.

Staring down the unforgiving barrel of Bloody Rose, Yuuki Kuran does not flinch or make a move to defend herself. Her chocolate eyes take in the emancipated form of Zero with sadness and remorse.

He keeps the gun pointed at her as she walks over to him. His hand begins to tremble as the cold metal makes contact with her chest. His mind is telling him to shoot, but his finger doesn't pull the trigger. Will not pull the trigger.

"Zero… what have you been doing to yourself?" she asks, her voice melodious as the tinkling of bells but still it grates on his nerves.

She reaches a hand to his face slowly, but he snatches in midair with his other hand. He notes with surprise that it is tangible. Too many times he has dreamed of her only to wake up to find her gone.

But this time, she's real. She's here. Right now. In his room and he can hardly believe it.

"Get. Out. Don't think I won't kill you in an instant," he snarls out.

Every breath is painful. Hard and suffocating. Her scent is slowly killing him from the inside.

Yuuki does not answer. She retracts her hand, but then moves to pull her long hair aside. Exposing her pale neck.

"What are you doing?" Panic creeps up in his voice. Zero tries to back away from the wordless invitation. She follows his movements, ignoring the barrel of the gun that is now digging uncomfortably into her body, and commands with one word, "Drink."

A pureblood is ordering him. He has to obey. Even if she did not issue the command, he would have given in. Anything for her blood.

His fangs find that familiar spot on her neck. The location where he always have bitten her in the past, and sinks into her inviting flesh. Zero almost faints in the euphoria of her warm blood rushing into his mouth. After a year of drought, drinking the sweet, sweet essence of her is too much for his body to handle. Like a starved man with a feast in front of him, Zero gorges himself on her.

He does not notice how much he had drank until he feels Yuuki slump against him. Zero pulls away and opens his blood-filled eyes in alarm.

"Yuuki?"

Her pulse is weak, and he suddenly regrets his hasty actions. But her blood is so enticing. Such a sinful temptation that he cannot control himself around her. He shifts her so she is lying down on the bed, with Bloody Rose lying forgotten on the floor.

"Are you okay now?" she faintly smiles back at him from drowsy eyes. When he does not answer, she closes her eyes and appears to drifts off into sleep.

Zero hates her for being this way. Always thinking of the other person and not herself. He hates her. For being a vampire, the one thing he hates the most in this world. And for always giving herself to him.

"You should not have come here. Now look at you, weak and defenseless in front of your greatest enemy." His words are harsh, but his tone is soft. His body has drank his fill of her, but it is now his eyes that drink the vision of her in. There is more that he wants. As his gaze lingers on her peaceful face, a rueful thought enters his head.

_I want your everything. _

Whenever he drank her blood, he was always aware of her deep, unshaken affection mingling within the dark crimson.

It is love. Love for her foster father, for her friends… and for _him_. It has always left Zero with a bitter aftertaste.

But tonight is different. He licks the stray drops from his lips, and savors it carefully. He might be riding on a high, but there seems to be a new flavor-

"Zero…" her soft voice is drawing him in, and he leans in closer to hear her. "Do you hate me? For the pain I made you go through?"

"No," he breathes out. She waits for an explanation, but he gives none. He lowers himself over her, with arms on each side of her head. Their faces are a hair's breadth away, but Yuuki does not seem bothered by the proximity and closes her eyes while inhaling deeply.

"May I… have a taste?" Her soft voice beckons to him. Oh so pleadingly.

Zero starts. Did he hear her right? The pureblood princess, fiancé of Kaname Kuran, wants to drink his blood?

But Yuuki is staring up at him, with her crystal gaze free of deception but full of need, and he cannot help but give in to all her desires. Zero nods, and leans in.

His fists clench in the sheets when he feels her teeth puncturing his skin. Her tongue lapping up his blood sends him shivering, but not from cold. Zero clamps his eyes shut, forcing himself into composure. He tells himself he does not feel her curves, does not smell her sweet scent, and they are so close to each other that he can-

She only takes a few licks and then closes the wound. Leaning back into the bed again, her eyes a glowing red, she replies, "Thank you. I think my question is answered now."

_Ah, so that's what it's about_.

Yuki drank his blood because she does not believe his answer. She had to see for herself. After all, the true feelings of a person is written in their blood.

And now she knows. She knows that he truly does not despise her, and deep down, under the many layers of deception and false hatred, despite himself he is still utterly and completely in love with her.

"Look, even if you know the truth now, it doesn't change anything. You and I are enemies," he pauses painfully, "And you. Should. Not. Be. Here."

Anguish appears in her features at his callous remark, and Zero wants to kill himself. She needs to stop torturing him. By just being here, she is doing something forbidden.

They are committing a sin.

"Zero, what does my blood taste like?"

"It's sweet. And salty at the same time."

"Then you should know what my answer is."

He is confused. There is a new taste to her blood. He has still yet to figure out what that means, and what does she mean by-

"You still don't get it? Let me show you," a ghost of a smile plays on her lips, as she bites her own lips. Twin beads of scarlet form on her lower lip, and suddenly Zero forgets how to breathe. Yuuki slowly raises her head, and takes his lips with hers. The scent of her blood is too intoxicating, and before he realizes what is happening, he is returning the kiss hungrily.

She is sweet, but there's that new taste again. Teasing him, bothering him. And Yuuki, with her lips moulding against his, is eliciting new sensations that is driving him over the edge. She moans his name in the empty room, and he suddenly realizes it.

_She wants me. Needs me. Almost as much I need her. _

The realization makes him pull away from the heady kiss. Silver eyes scour her face desperately. Looking for a clue.

A hint. Anything.

"Now you know," she says sorrowfully, "That even though I love Kaname, there's a part of me, a piece of my soul that will always remain with you. No matter how much I drink from him, I also thirsts for something more..."

A troubled look flashes through her delicate features. "I know this is unfair, but I cannot change a decision of my heart and the fact that I love y-"

He cuts her off there with another kiss. This time fierce and possessive.

She can name off all the excuses she wants. But the only thing he hears is "I love you" and that is good enough right now.

She has no idea of the extent of his need. Even if she forsakes her fiancé and comes to him, it will not be enough. He will not be satisfied until he has drained every last drop of her blood . Until she lays lying there in his arms gasping his name with her dying breaths. It will not be enough.

Her love is gentle and kind.

His… is not.

It's as vicious and monstrous as the creature he has become.

She will haunt him into eternity.

So her confession is nothing for him. Here, in the present that is all he has and nothing more. In this moment, with the pale rose-colored rays of dawn shining from the balcony and the sound of her heartbeats racing at his fingertips, he loses and gains all reason for living.

* * *

Note: This is the first one-shot of a trilogy. Next chap will be from Kaname's POV. I think their dynamic with each other are just intriguing, and I just wanted something bloody and angsty.


	2. Chapter 2

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_**In Desire  
**_

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Kaname can smell _him_ on her. Despite the layers and layers of floral fragrance she recently begins using, he can detect the scent of the other vampire on her skin.

Zero Kiryuu. His pawn to kill Ridou.

Kaname does not regret the ruthless way he manipulated the other. Zero is supposed to fall in love with Yuuki, and that is the why his carefully concocted plan fell through.

The chess match was supposed to be over. He has his queen, and eliminated the other king.

But it's not.

He finds himself further and further from his queen. She is on the other half of the chessboard and he is stranded on his side. Numerous bishops, rooks and useless pieces are in his way.

And the pawn is with her. He has sent the pawn so far into enemy territory that it has turned into another. A knight almost. Moving in unpredictable ways, and just as powerful and complex as he himself is.

Yuki is standing there, waiting for him. Close, but at the same time unreachable.

Her porcelain, slender neck is beckoning to him, but all Kaname can think is of _him_. When he bites through the fragile skin, he wonders if her blood flows warmly and generously into Kiryuu's mouth just as it does for him.

"Yuki," he breathes. He runs his fingers through the auburn strands of her beautiful, long hair. It was cut short when she was still human. So innocent and carefree. But now that she's reawakened in her true form, she relinquishes her old hair style as well as her past life. Or at least she should have.

But her heart, that sweet, kind heart, still remembers Zero.

He had locked away his heart ages ago. Taken on an emotional mask that fools all. The only time he takes it off, the only person who he shows himself to, is her.

Is that why it pains him so to know the sins of her doing?

Every time he shuts his eyes he can imagine them. Their bare bodies, writhing, winding around each other. Pale, slender limbs accented with crimson trails of blood. Soft sighs, punctured by lustful moans and the flashing of silver teeth.

Kaname clenches his fist. So hard that scarlet red begins to drip on the immaculate marble tiles.

"Oni-sama?" her voice is tinged with worry. A kind, and yet unbearably cruel gesture.

He does not answer. Instead, he lifts her without a warning, treating her as if she was made of glass. He lays her gently on her massive bed, and barely brushes his lips to her forehead.

"Get some rest Yuuki."

"But Oni-sama-" The quiet shutting of the wooden doors silences her effectively.

Kaname leans back against the polished wood. Breathes in slowly.

He is out of options. Yuuki is here, physically. She showers him with unbridled affection. Graces him with her beautiful smiles.

And yet… Yet, she is not at all with him.

He wants to be her everything. Wants her consciousness to be overflowing thoughts of him, almost to the point of obsession. Yes, yes that is what his selfish being craves.

But not while Zero has a part of her. His brain furiously runs through hundreds of scenarios. Of different paths and actions he can take to get rid of that pawn. All of which will ultimately end in one conclusion: he will lose.

To eliminate Zero will hurt Yuuki. Ending the hunter's life will not benefit him, and so Kaname will have to stand here, on his side of the chessboard and watch the match unfold on the other end. His reach can only go so far, and he cannot touch those pieces.

To lose is unacceptable. But to lose Yuuki, that is even more unbearable.

Kaname Kuran is a pureblood. He is used to getting his way. His every want, every desire is always fulfilled. He did not ask for the adoring worship, the envious stares, and the devotion of his comrades. He does not want that much.

Now the one thing, the only reason for his existence, is denied to him. And that is more agonizing then dying a thousand deaths.

"What is the matter Oni-sama?"

Kaname's eyes snap open. He surveys the surrounding in mild surprise. Somehow, in the midst of his calculations, he has let himself back in Yuuki's room.

Her soft, doe-like face regards him curiously. She has changed into a white dress; loose, flowing, and revealing a sinful amount of her neck.

"Nothing," he keeps his voice even as he answers her. Her hearing is sharp, and she can now tell if things are amiss if the inflections of his tone is changed.

"Would you like to stay then?" Yuuki whispers shyly.

Kaname turns towards her in shock. Never in his wildest dreams does he anticipate this happening. Innocent, guile-less Yuuki making the first move? Never…

He walks slowly over to her beside.

"Do you know what it is you are asking?" he asks quietly. Yuuki nods slowly, and that corner of her mouth tilts in tentative smile.

Kaname mirrors her with one of his own, but then his smile freezes. His eyes rivet to one spot. The burning daylight spills in from the pulled curtains, bringing out the dark purpling bite mark on her neck in stark contrast.

Of course. It makes sense now.

_He _had her _first_. First taste of her blood, first kiss, and now this. The little flower he has nurtured and cherished, has been tainted by another. _How dare he. _

Kaname clenches his fangs tightly. A slight hiss escapes from his lips right before his arm shoots out and grabs Yuuki's shoulder.

A cry from her cherry red lips before he crushes them to his. Erasing all traces of _him_. To cover _his _marks with marks of his own. How dare _he _touch her here. And here. And there.

His sharp teeth follows the heady prints of his fingers, all the more pronounced as her blood continues to flow. Onto his hand, dripping from her body, and staining the pristine satin sheets.

"Oni-sama," she gasps out in pain.

Or is it in pleasure? For no matter how serious her wounds are, as long as her heart stays within her body, Yuuki will live. And the process of feeding is both a mixture of ecstasy and agony.

For even as pain throbs through her body, another, more demanding ache undoubtedly is blooming within her body. Her blood is telling him so, and it is all Kaname can do to not completely drain her there.

His mouth goes back to swallow her breaths. He uses his weight ruthlessly to keep her down. One hand encloses her delicate wrists and pushes them above her head.

Yuki arches. Her moan is muffled against his lips, but he still hears her. Drinks in more of her delicious blood.

_**Only mine**, _the words drum through his head.

Self-control, once lost, is hard to recover. And even for Kaname, who is a master of composure, finds himself losing to the demonic urges inside. In his mind, things are clear-cut and simple. No more complex strategies and chess matches.

**_Mine. _**

It is him and his prey. Laying there, waiting for him. Her delicious scent. Her stained, torn dress revealing a scandalous amount of skin. Her blood, making scarlet trails down into more provocative areas.

_**Mine.**_

Kaname swallows and sucks greedily. Feeding the beast within himself until he can feel the blood filling in his eyes. He grips onto her now limp body tightly. Buries his head in the soft skin of her nape and inhales.

Something is wrong.

Yuuki is not moving. She is silent, frighteningly cold in his hands.

Kaname's face freezes in alarm. He straightens, and checks for a pulse, but already knowing that he will not find one. A ripple of disquiet courses through the ancient, as he brushes the pale face gently with a blood-stained claw. The horrible realization finally hits, and the feeling of absolute desolation swallows him whole until there is nothing but pitch blackness.

His eyes blinks open. Yellow sunlight peeks through the heavy curtains, and Kaname takes in the sight of his study with caution. He had fallen asleep on the sofa while he contemplated on how to get rid of Kiryuu.

It is a dream. Shuddering in breathy relief, he runs his hand through his tangled chestnut locks. Decisively, he rises to his feet, and glides towards Yuuki's room.

She is asleep. Wearing a pristine, white night gown buttoned all the way to her neck and her hair flowing upon the silken pillows. She is snoring lightly, and her blanket is partially pushed off the mattress.

Kaname restrains the urge to go nearer. Blood lust is still pounding through his veins, and last thing he wants is to make his nightmare a reality.

So that is the only course of action, he mournfully muses to himself. The only way to keep Yuuki to himself… is to kill her himself. For in death, she will no longer belong to the vampire hunter. And the ancient ancestor knows, if Yuuki's life was to end, then he will unquestionably follow.

But there is just too much unfinished business left undone. Too many pieces to move and time, already his enemy, is now the mocking face that tortures his very existence.

And so the King sits down on his side of the battle field. Resigned and sorrowful, he waits for that day to finally come.

* * *

Note: So I'm glad Kaname does not turn out to be the gentle big brother figure all the time. He is also conniving and manipulative in his own way. And I wonder what happens when he finally snaps.

Vampire Knight just inspires bloody lusty scenes. Yuuki's POV next!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Do not own characters. Plus, this has no relation to what is going on in the recent manga chapters. Time plot wise, it's probably right around the ball.

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_**In Limbo**_

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She cannot stand to look at him sometimes. Those side-long glances he gives her when he thinks she isn't looking is like a stab in the heart every time. Those mournful, forgiving eyes, once an objection of her infatuation, are now undoing her at the edges.

_Hate me! _She wants to yell at him._ Be angry, punish me even_!

But Kaname just looks back at her with his knowing, rueful smile. He is still so gentle, so kind, so trusting that the vampire princess wants to wither away in self loathing. He knows where she goes those nights. Who she lays down with and why sometimes she drinks less of him than expected.

He does not say anything because he loves her. He cannot let her go, and does his damnest to make sure that every one of her wishes come true. Even at the cost of his own happiness.

_It is not fair. For both of them._

She wants to stop it. She tells herself every time it is the last time. Has to be.

And yet here she is again, letting herself in Zero's apartment. He is not here, but she peels off her jacket and crawls into his bed. Breathes deeply to inhale his scent on the pillow, and waits for his eventual return.

Yuuki doesn't hear his presence. No, he always comes in silently. But she can feel him.

She pretends to be asleep, but they both know that she is awake and alert to his every movement. A heavy weight pushes down on the mattress. The sharp intake of breaths, and his lips are on hers. He takes, he bleeds, and she loves him for it.

One hand grips her hair tightly and keeps her face still for him. The other traces the contours of her supine body with a teasing finger. He made lazy circles around the hardened nipple through the thin material of her dress. On these nights, she wears nothing underneath. Bares it all, just for him.

He tortures her. Denys her the much-needed release as long as possible.

It is only fair after all.

She knows her mere existence is torturing him. Perhaps a thousand fold more so. To desire something so fervently and never be allowed to possess it. She is so well acquainted with that feeling.

But her mind is sucked back into the past. Back to that fateful day when he had kissed her for the first time.

_She knew that the Zero back then cannot love. He is not familiar with the emotion. Or perhaps, he is too scared of it. She was so disappointed to realize that her feelings never quite reached him. And that he would rather sink back into the familiarity of hating vampires than to love her._

_"You and I… are enemies. I will live to kill you someday."_

_**Don't go** his eyes pleaded with hers. His hands were trembling as he held her close._

_"Then I shall keep running. So you can have a reason to stay alive," she sadly answered. The unspoken words hung so dreadfully heavy in the air between them._

**_Goodbye… Zero_**

_She loves Kaname. As easy as it is to breathe, she is utterly devoted to him. Her loyalty to him is unwavering, and now that she regained her memories, she knows that he is the only one who understands her. The real her._

_It should be such an easy choice. An effortless decision._

_But her heart still clenched at the sight of the vampire hunter. Her eyes linger at his silver hair, the penetrating gaze, and those deadly, but beautifully shaped hands._

Ironic, that when she was with Zero, in those blissfully happy days at the academy, she longed for Kaname. And now she finds herself in a reverse situation. She sighs. Truer words were never spoken: _"You always want what you cannot have."_

As she comes to know Kaname more and more, she finds herself being ensnared within a web of deceit. The Kurans, the ancestors, the society of vampires. Who exactly is telling her the truth? And who is just using her to their own selfish means?

From within the depths of fake smiles and honeyed words, Yuuki can only rely on one constant: her older brother. He was there for her when their parents died. He rescued her from danger. And he was always looking out for her when they attended Cross Academy.

Love and care shine from his eyes. And like a lost ship at sea drawn in by the lighthouse, she can only depend on him. Through thick and thin. For better or for worse.

She grimaces. It sounds too much like wedding vows.

"You're thinking of him." Zero's voice comes deadpan in the still darkness.

Yuuki blinks. Comes back slamming into reality.

He stops touching her. His fangs retracts. With a disgusted sound, Zero pushes off of her. She can only watch as he walks to the window, and braces himself over the balcony, signaling that he wants to be left alone. It has not been the first time that her mind wandered. There are times when she is so full of guilt and shame that her body cannot respond.

Yuuki cannot even utter the words "I'm sorry". She does not even have the right to.

For some indescribable reason, she knows she cannot have both of them. Only one or the other. But the way she carries on. The way she clings to these two men, it will only doom them in the end.

She can hear it in the stars. The whispers in the trees. The ominous rumble underground.

The day draws near when she will lose both of them. Like sand trickling through fingers, Yuuki can already feel them slipping away.

* * *

Notes: Final chap of the trilogy! Yay ... I think this is the first series I actually finished. Most of my stories have been on hiatuses due to writer's block.

I actually had trouble with this. I've never really been in that kind of situation, and so the last one-shot probably lacks the emotional impact that I wanted to convey. _ But imagine finding out your definition of perfect is a farce, and perfection may never be reached after all.


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